What makes the pairing of the older woman and younger man work? It usually takes two individuals who are willing to consider the implausible. Here are some of the reasons reported by several couples who have an age span of at least ten to fifteen years between them:

Some qualities are ageless.

Age knows no boundaries when it comes to the three C's--communication, commitment, and most especially--chemistry. Older women and younger men who share these ingredients can develop a tight bond, which has the possibility of growing into a lasting love. He will probably be drawn to her femininity, wisdom and warmth; she to his energy, and spirit. Add some shared interests to the mix and these two people can sustain a conversation well into old age (even if she does get there before him.)

Younger men are flexible.

Younger men are less likely to have ingrained habits, unyielding mindsets, and rigid expectations of what they want from their partner. They generally tend to be open-minded about her career, travel, and places to live. Change is not the obstacle for them that it is for older men.

The older woman has her own life.

She is not expecting a man to take care of her. She has made a home for herself, has a career, and great friends. When an older woman gives herself a good life, she often has the characteristic of taking good care of herself. She probably works out at the gym and keeps herself in shape. With a sense of her power and worth, she sends a strong message that she is an original. If she also happens to be very nurturing, she is extremely attractive to a younger man (and any man.)

Her children.

If the older woman has children and she has raised them to be responsible, secure, and to have a generous spirit, they will probably make the adjustments necessary to allow their mother to have any relationship she wants, as long as it is good for her and makes her happy. I have seen younger men who adored their wife's children, becoming a mentor and confidant to them.

Their children.

Obviously, the older woman and younger man have different choices to consider when it comes to raising a family. I know one woman who was 50 and her husband was 35 and they wanted to have children. They adopted a little girl. I know another young man who is a wonderful friend to her grown children, and enjoys helping to parent her young grandchildren.

The older woman, younger man duo can work for some people. Whatever their issues, they find a way to work them out because there is something deeper between them that matters and lasts. It has to do with the three C's: communication, commitment, and chemistry.

Tonja Weimer

Tonja Evetts Weimer is a Master Certified singles relationship and life coach, speaker, syndicated columnist and author.

Tonja is a full time professional coach with a practice in Greenville, SC. She helps individuals, especially singles, re-craft their lives and find happiness and success in their career and relationships. Some of Tonja's professional activities include:

==> Syndicated singles relationship columnist, writing SAVVY DATING, a weekly column read by over a million readers in many U.S newspapers. Tonja's column addresses relationship and life issues of interest to all adults, but particularly to the over 110 million singles in the U.S. Tonja has also had articles published in New Woman, Hope, and House Beautiful magazines, and has won 3 Matrix Awards for her writing.

==> Motivational speaker, Tonja has been a keynote presenter at national and international conferences over the last 30 years.

==> Author of materials for educators and parents (7 books, six music albums and 2 videos), which have won 22 awards.

Some Speaking and Media Highlights:

==> Keynote speaker for 2004 Women’s Issues Network Conference, Sumter, SC.

==> Keynote speaker for 2002 Parents as Teachers International Conference, St. Louis, MO.

==> Keynote speaker for 1999 International Conference for Children & Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder.

==> Keynote speaker for 1998 European Education Conference, in Mannheim, Germany.

==> Keynote speaker in 35 U.S. states at educational conferences.

==> Presenter at the International Special Olympics in Notre Dame, at the request of Eunice Kennedy Shriver.

==> Created Space Songs for Children, at the request of NASA (album taken into space by astronauts three times.)

==> Appeared on CNN’s Showbiz Today and many other TV shows.

Educational and Professional Qualifications:

==> National Fellow (U.S. Dept. of Education.) M.A. in Human Development and Education, with an emphasis on creativity.

==> Master Certified Singles Relationship Coach, Relationship Coaching Institute.

==> Personal Life Coach, Graduate, Institute for Life Coach Training.

==> Member, International Coaching Federation